The Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa


So Lance Armstrong went on the Tour De France and use performance enhancing drugs.

I am now going on the record, even though Oprah Winfrey has not booked my interview yet, that I too have gone on RAGBRAI & the only performance enhancing substances I have used was ibuprofen, Miller Lite, and Chamois Butt’r
What a relief off my conscious.
I hope the public, my fans, and the RAGBRAI community will let me participate in future RAGBRAI events.

29 Replies

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Jboz, January 20, 2013 at 8:05 pm

I am guilty of extensive use of GBP*. I even coerced my teammates into using the stuff.

* Gold Bond Powder



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bevelyn382, January 21, 2013 at 12:51 am

I too have used a few of the above mentioned enhancing substances, my most favorite is biofreeze. This has helped me to cut off at least a second or two of each long day. I am so ashamed and I beg everyone to still allow me to do RAGBRAI. Please…Please



Profile photo of Ed Kanitra
Ed Kanitra, January 21, 2013 at 6:12 am

You cheated, pure and simple!
Oh wait… said “Lite Beer”.



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Iceman, January 21, 2013 at 6:59 am

Ha! I’m using Axiron.



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Amanda, January 21, 2013 at 7:20 am

I am so ashamed . .. I used flush toilets!



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Dan in Iowa, January 21, 2013 at 9:18 am

Amanda! That’s funny!!! 😛 😛 😆



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stuckinmizzou, January 21, 2013 at 10:43 am

I slept in a hotel room the year we were in Waterloo…sorry…



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Proteus Dan, January 21, 2013 at 11:04 am

I wimped out in the heat last year and left the ride 1/2 way to Marshalltown. Cramping like crazy. Not enough Lite beer. So ashamed.



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Michrider !!!, January 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

Stuckin, I think yours is the worst crime! Sleeping in A/C comfort should be banned from RAGBRAI!!! Can they test for that??? 😈 👿



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IndianHillsTed, January 21, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Me too..but the worst thing I did was shove a rider off the road who accused me of it. I don’t feel too bad about it…he only lost a leg, he still has another.



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stevev, January 21, 2013 at 3:34 pm

I ran over someones dropped Ipod while in a europhic state from too much powerade. The look on his face still haunts my dreams.



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Sandaltan, January 21, 2013 at 6:07 pm

Back in the early years I once went 24 hours without a beer. I am so ashamed,

ride right



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Mary, January 21, 2013 at 9:27 pm

My first year on Ragbrai, I was a virgin…and by the end of that year on Ragbrai, when I dipped my tires in the Mississippi, I…I…I was no longer a virgin…..I am so ashamed and beg everyone’s forgiveness.



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Thoreau, January 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm



Profile photo of William
Thoreau, January 21, 2013 at 9:45 pm

This California rider once boasted to his friends that Ragbrai would be easy because Iowa was flat. I am sorry and I will apologize to all of you this summer as I drop into my granny gear and stand on my pedals to make it up another rolling hill.



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