We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

182 Replies

T. Gap Woo, May 21, 2020 at 6:42 pm

This was a headline on a story in my newsfeed today. It was posted by CBS News Interactive.

A vicious cycle: Bike sales soar, causing shortages and “panic buying”

Honest to goodness! Is CBS trying to horn in on my act? Bring it on! I ain’t afraid of nobody. Not no how. 🤪 (rim shot, with apologies to Bert Lahr).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319660

T. Gap Woo, May 21, 2020 at 8:24 pm

Hey, CBS! Take a lesson in bicycle humor.

I think my bicycle is haunted. The wheels spoke to me the other day. 🤪 (rim shot)

I nicknamed my bike “Dracula,” because whenever I crash, it draws blood. 🤪 (rim shot)

This bike always goes in the same direction and follows the same route, regardless of where I steer. I’m stuck in a vicious cycle. 🤪 (rim shot)

If I ever mistreat my bike, it retaliates somehow. It’s a vicious cycle. 🤪 (rim shot)

Had enough, CBS? I hope this lesson was a real “eye” opener!

See you along the Eye-O-Way. 🤪 (rim shot).

#1319663

T. Gap Woo, May 22, 2020 at 10:34 am

I was biking along my favorite rail-trail through the woods when I came across this sign:

“WARNING! Black bear habitat ahead.”

Naturally, I ignored the warning and pedaled onward….. until a bear came out of the woods and stood in the middle of the path.

Instead of panicking and fleeing, I remembered what I learned about bear encounters in the Boy Scouts. But I made one mistake.

Instead of “playing DEAD,” I played “DAD.” Now that bear can ride a bicycle without training wheels! Wouldn’t you know it? It even took my bike. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319683

T. Gap Woo, May 22, 2020 at 3:47 pm

The local baker needed a part-time delivery driver, so he hung a sign in the bakery window. With the unemployment situation being the way it is, I figured I could use the extra dough, so I went in to apply for the job.

The owner, a plump little fellow named Mr Pillsbury, told me that he couldn’t pay much, as business had fallen flat due to COVID-19. He said that he couldn’t even afford gasoline for the delivery van.

“No problem!” I replied. “I have a bicycle with an enclosed, locking trailer that I can tow behind me. I’ll load the items into the trailer and then pedal around town to make deliveries to your customers.”

“That sounds like a flan to me! How soon can you start?” he inquired.

“Right away! Let’s get shakin’ and bakin’!” I retorted.

We loaded a batch of baked goods into the trailer and locked it. I pedaled away, heading for my first delivery. Everything went off without a hitch and I went to the second stop.

I was making the second delivery, again without any problems. However, when I came back outside, I noticed that someone had stolen my bike, the trailer and its contents.

I was frosted! In times like these, behavior like that really takes the cake! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319709

T. Gap Woo, May 23, 2020 at 8:56 am

Somebody vandalized my bicycle. They sprayed it with a solution of minoxidil, the hair regrowth medicine. Now my bike sports a handlebar moustache! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319746

T. Gap Woo, May 23, 2020 at 3:39 pm

I was taking a break from my century ride this afternoon and resting by a pond along the route. To my utter astonishment, I observed two waterfowl pedaling a tandem down the path from the road to the pond. That was truly a pair-o-duck-cycle sight! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319757

Sexton, May 23, 2020 at 6:54 pm

It was my first Ragbrai, but I don’t remember offhand the names of any of the towns. What I do remember is that on the day of the Karras loop, I had just left the second pass through town of the day and was headed for the town where the Karras loop started, and I saw this guy dragging this huge chain down the road. I didn’t think much of it because there were farms everywhere and figured he couldn’t be going far with that chain. Nine miles later I came to the town where the loop started. All I can tell you is the town had a water tower that looked like a flying saucer. After taking on water, I headed off to ride the loop. We went through one town where guys were flinging toilets for distance (you can’t make this up) then rode on to the destination town, collected the bonus patch, had some pie, and hit the road. Once again I ride into the town with the flying saucer water tower, and decide its time to eat, so I got a sandwich and-I think it was a snow mobile club- was selling beverages. Satisfied, I saddle up and head out of town, this time turning left where the bonus loop starts. A few miles later, I see him; that same guy from this morning, still dragging this heavy chain down the side of the road! I didn’t know what I might be able to do to help, but I had to find out what was going on with him. I shift down, keeping a polite distance, coast up along side him. “Good afternoon” I say. “Yep” he says. “Is there anything you need?” I ask. “Nope” he says. Silence. One more try. “if I may ask” says I, “why are you dragging that enormous chain anyway?” He stops dead in his tracks, squinting at me in that hot Iowa sun, he says, “kid, you ever tried to push one?”

#1319761

Danny Edens, May 24, 2020 at 4:12 am

Heres a good laugh.. Ragbrai kept saying how they would be totally transparent after there whole fiasco this fall yet keep deleting my posts!

#1319790

T. Gap Woo, May 24, 2020 at 6:26 am

I just bought one of those new e-bikes. It’s got an automatic electric gear shift with a manual override option. The bike works fine, except for the manual override feature.

In a revolting development, I get shocked whenever I try to manually shift gears. I’d try to diagnose and fix the problem myself, but I can’t put my finger on it! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319791

T. Gap Woo, May 24, 2020 at 6:17 pm

I combined my two outdoor passions, mountaineering and bicycling. Last summer, I climbed to the summit of Mt Everest, while my Sherpa carried my mountain bike. I had no problem cycling around the summit, but it went all downhill from there. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319801

T. Gap Woo, May 25, 2020 at 8:58 am

Grandson Woo outgrew his little tricycle and is learning to ride a “big boy’s” bike, with training wheels. Progress has been haltingly slow, as he rides in fits and starts.

He’ll ride a few feet in a straight line and stop. Then he’ll ride a few more feet in a straight line and stop again. He’s ridden like this for the past few days. Start, ride a few feet in a straight line, stop. Start, ride in a straight line a few more feet, stop.

Today, I saw him ride a good distance without stopping once, with his left arm extended out to the side the entire time. I think he’s finally turning the corner. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319813

T. Gap Woo, May 25, 2020 at 12:06 pm

Sandaltan,

Here is the headline from the Cedar Rapids Gazette article by correspondent Katie Mills Giorgio you cited in your thread about the bicycle business:

<strong>“Corridor bike shops work to manage customer demand and industry backlog after unusually high demand

'Everybody is itching to get and out ride'”

My local newspaper, The Daily Fishwrapper, had an equally bland headline over a similar story about my LBS. Here is the headline I would have written for them:

<strong>“Year-to-year bike sales inflated over last year, due to rash of people itching to get outdoors.”

Perhaps I can start a new career writing headlines? Nah, I’m too outspoken.

🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319816

T. Gap Woo, May 25, 2020 at 7:06 pm

Every time Mrs Woo rode her bicycle out of the barn on our farm, she’d lose her balance and fall over. This happened on multiple occasions and under all conditions. She got so frustrated that she finally gave up riding — — a bicycle, that is. She took up horseback riding instead. It was more stable. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319833

T. Gap Woo, May 26, 2020 at 10:08 am

Last year, I rode Ragbrai 47 all week under the broiling Iowa sun, from Council Bluffs to Keokuk. It was hotter than the hinges on the gates of Hades. When the ride ended, I was looking forward to heading home and relaxing under the shady trees in my front yard, with a cold beer or three in my sweaty little hands.

Imagine my shock when I arrived home! All of the trees in my yard were gone.

I asked my neighbor, “What the heck happened?”

“I dunno,” he replied. “I’m stumped!” 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1319845

Sandaltan ., May 26, 2020 at 7:07 pm

TGW: In remembrance of past RAGBRAIs we had chicken & noodles over mashed potatoes this evening for dinner. After dinner, as sequestered we are, we did the crossword puzzle in your “Daily Fishwrapper” and were stumped by a ten letter word for “machine propelled by cranks attached to the front axle. Perhaps you could assist.

RIDE RIGHT

#1319855

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