We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

345 Replies

T. Gap Woo, June 23, 2020 at 8:23 am

Granddaughter Woo was studying marine aquatic life as part of her science lessons in kindergarten this year. She learned her lessons very well, and she was eager to share her new-found knowledge with me.

“Do you know why fish are so smart?” she quizzed.

“No,” I replied.

She answered, “They are always in schools!”

She told me that fish cannot sing or play musical instruments, because they are always out-of-tuna.

Then she inquired, “Do you know why fish wear helmets when they ride bicycles?”

I was stumped. She informed me, “They wear helmets for safety porpoises!”

She soon ran out of jokes, so she clammed up. 🤪 (rim shot, with many hugs and kisses to Granddaughter Woo)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320593

T. Gap Woo, June 24, 2020 at 8:19 am

I was watching the X-Games on ESPN last year. The bicycle competition was truly amazing!

There were riders doing all types and manners of stunts. One cyclist rode down the side of a half-pipe and up the other side, going airborne and flipping upside down, before landing right-side up. Then she did the same move, only this time she did a 520 degree spin-a-rama. I got dizzy watching her!

Another rider had these extension pieces attached to the bike axles. Using a ramp, she jumped the bike onto a railing and skidded the bike 20 feet from one end to the other end.

I was particularly impressed by a unicyclist. She bounced her unicycle like a pogo stick. Then, she did the same flips, turns and spins on the half-pipe as the two-wheelers did.

I give her credit for competing with the two-wheelers, but try as she might, there was one trick she could not pull off. She just couldn’t pop a wheelie! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320604

T. Gap Woo, June 25, 2020 at 8:38 am

When Granddaughter Woo was 4 years old, she really got into the Halloween spirit. She wanted to go out on Beggar’s Night dressed as a Disney Princess.

Mom bought her a fancy costume, complete with a flowing blonde wig, earrings, a necklace and a tiara. Mom applied makeup, including eye shadow and lipstick. Granddaughter Woo looked like she just stepped out of a Disney movie!

Mom and Granddaughter Woo left home as soon as it was dark to go begging for candy, Granddaughter Woo pedaling her three-wheeler and Mom following behind, pulling a little red wagon to hold the loot.

They canvassed three whole neighborhoods, before returning home with a wagon overflowing with candy.

I was amazed at the haul, as I never had such success when I was a kid. I asked Granddaughter Woo what her secret was.

She informed me, “I pedaled up to the front door and honked my bike horn until they opened the door. Then I said my magic words. That made them laugh and give me extra candy!”

“Magic words? What magic words caused them to reward you so handsomely?” I asked.

Granddaughter Woo giggled, “Trike-or-Treat!”

🤪 (rim shot and a wink to Princess Amanda).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320616

Amanda, June 25, 2020 at 10:23 am

Lovely story!

#1320617

T. Gap Woo, June 25, 2020 at 9:41 pm

I’ll be off the air for the next 5 days, as there is poor internet/cell service in Amish country. Here’s a comment to tide you over until I return next week.

Bicycle.

Bike.

Cycle.

Two-wheeler.

Velocipede.

Bicycle-built-for-two.

Tandem.

Mountain bike.

Unicycle.

Penny-farthing.

Tricycle.

Trike.

Recumbent.

Bent.

10-speed.

Don’t stop me now. I’m on a synonym roll! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320624

“Bicycle Bill”, June 25, 2020 at 10:20 pm

Hope you see this before you roll off for the next few days.

Ask your granddaughter if she knows the difference between a bicycle and a fish.  When she says no, tell her that you can tune a bicycle but you can’t tuna fish.
-“BB”-

#1320625

RDaryl Daryl, June 26, 2020 at 9:19 am

No jokes here
Just Two Words to Live By

Amish PIE

This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by RDaryl Daryl.

#1320627

Papa T, June 29, 2020 at 10:30 am

Amish RUBARB pie!!!

#1320678

stuckinmizzou, June 29, 2020 at 11:33 am

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie? He only eats Brians.

#1320679

“Bicycle Bill”, June 29, 2020 at 3:03 pm

Papa T, you can mess up the spelling; just don’t mess up the pie itself.
And if you were to add a little strawberry to mix, resulting in a strawberry/rhubarb pie — well, let’s just say that I’d ride a Huffy uphill on a gravel road to get some.
-“BB”-

#1320683

LawnchairMan, June 30, 2020 at 3:55 pm

Mmmm. . . Strawberry/rhubarb pie! I was the first to get some from Kelly’s Berry Best Pies near Minden last year. No joke, it was the best!

#1320695

T. Gap Woo, July 2, 2020 at 10:58 am

Good morning, brethren and sistern Ragbrai’ers. I have returned from Amish country and, yes, the pies were wonderful. Mrs Woo made a strawberry rhubarb pie with fruit right out of the garden! 😋. And I even rode uphill on gravel roads, but on my Trek instead of a Huffy.

That last hill was a real challenge, though. The gravel was loose and sandy, perfect for a horse-and-buggy but not for a bike. Between the washboard surface, the wagon wheel ruts, and dodging road apples, my legs began to cramp.

Now, I know that potassium from bananas and coconut water is good for leg cramps, but this was Amish country. If the farmers can’t grow it, they don’t sell it. So, I’m out of luck — maybe!

I’ve seen studies that show pickle juice relieves muscle cramps. Fortunately for me, there was an Amish farmstand on the side of the road. They harvested cucumbers, pickled them, and put them out for sale. I bought two pickles and ate them. Believe it or not, that cured my leg cramps!

Pickle juice works! It’s the rill dill! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320717

T. Gap Woo, July 2, 2020 at 6:54 pm

Ask your granddaughter if she knows the difference between a bicycle and a fish. When she says no, tell her that you can tune a bicycle but you can’t tuna fish.
-“BB”-

BB,

I asked Granddaughter Woo the riddle that you posed. Her reply, “I know that one! You can tune a bicycle, but you can’t tuna fish!”

I was amazed that she knew the answer, but was totally astonished by her follow-up comment: “Pop Pop Woo, did you know that Star-Kist and Bumble Bee still can tuna fish?” 🤪 (rim shot).

Sharp child!

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320732

T. Gap Woo, July 3, 2020 at 8:43 am

About six months prior to last year’s Ragbrai, I decided that I needed to shed the few pounds that I had added over the Thanksgiving-to-New Year’s holiday eating pig-out fest. Mrs Woo prepared healthy meals and enforced a strict portion control regimen.

Before each meal, I donned my helmet, riding gloves, and protective padding for my knees and elbows. The outfit didn’t interfere with my gustatory enjoyment one bit.

It’s better to be safe than sorry, I thought. After all, I was on a crash diet! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1320735

“Bicycle Bill”, July 3, 2020 at 7:22 pm

What is this??







A rim shot
-“BB”-

This reply was modified 3 months, 2 weeks ago by "Bicycle Bill".

#1320738

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