We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

351 Replies

T. Gap Woo, July 25, 2020 at 7:25 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you stop begging your spouse for a new bike, using every argument you can think of to justify the cost, and just go out and buy the darn thing anyway. Besides, it will all work out in the divorce settlement. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

This reply was modified 3 months ago by T. Gap Woo.

#1322346

T. Gap Woo, July 26, 2020 at 8:52 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you don’t think twice about going to work wearing a pair of old, beat-up biking shoes with your three-piece business suit, because they are more comfortable and fit better than your fancy dress shoes.
🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322405

T. Gap Woo, July 27, 2020 at 8:51 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you see a healthy-looking, buff biker ride by in the sharpest kit and the first thing you notice is NOT their gender, but the brand of their bike! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322422

T. Gap Woo, July 28, 2020 at 8:59 am

Once again, I’ll be offline for the next 10 days, visiting 3 Woo daughters/SIL and 5 Grandwoos. Unfortunately, internet access and cell service is spotty to nonexistent where I’m going, so here is one clean joke to TIDE you over until I return.

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you think nothing of wearing your bright neon, rainbow-colored biking shorts for a dip in the lake, but absolutely refuse to wear them in a swimming pool because the chlorinated water will bleach out the colors! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322497

T. Gap Woo, August 11, 2020 at 6:17 am

As General Douglas MacArthur once famously said, “I have returned.” I’m rarin’ to go, so strap on your brain buckets. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Teddy and Freddy, two buddies from Oklahoma, were riding their first Ragbrai several years ago. They were halfway between Forest City and Mason City when they both experienced mechanical issues with their bikes.

As they stood on the roadside debating whether to try to fix their bikes themselves or wait for the SAG wagon, two bikers from the Air Force cycling team pulled up and offered their assistance.

While assessing the situation, the Air Force members struck up a conversation.

“We’s from Lackland Air Force Base in San Antone, Texas,” they drawled. “Where are you guys from?”

Teddy replied, “We’re both from Oklahoma. I’m from Broken Bow and Freddy’s from Broken Arrow.”

Responded one Air Force rider, “Ah might have known y’all were from Oklahoma. Nuthin’ works raht up there. Seems lahk everthin’s always broken!”

🤪 (rim shot, with a grateful shout-out to the Air Force team!)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322747

T. Gap Woo, August 12, 2020 at 9:55 am

Every time Granddaughter Woo says, “Pop Pop Woo, I have a question!” I always brace myself for a toughie.

For instance, “How do the brakes work down there on the wheels when the brake levers are up here on the handlebar?” Or, “How does that thing on your front wheel spoke tell the computer how fast you are riding?” I’ll tell ya, it ain’t easy trying to come up with a nontechnical answer that would satisfy a 6-year-old’s curiosity!

Last week, she asked, “Pop Pop Woo, how far can you ride your bike into a forest on the mountain bike trail?”

I pondered this for quite a while before answering. I said that it depends on many factors: how tired I get; how hot and humid the weather was; how steep the trail was; and similar answers. She said, “No. That’s wrong!” to each of my answers.

I finally had to admit defeat. I couldn’t answer the question to her satisfaction.

With a straight face, she gave me the answer, “You can ride INTO a forest only halfway. Then, you’re riding OUT of the forest!” 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322841

T. Gap Woo, August 13, 2020 at 8:22 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– before accepting an offer of an out-of-state job transfer, you scope out the quality and number of local biking trails and the availability of bike shops in the area. If the results are unsatisfactory, you politely decline the offer.

🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322854

T. Gap Woo, August 14, 2020 at 8:47 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you optimistically view bike crashes as opportunities to not only upgrade your equipment but also to add more bragging rights to your collection of scars. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322872

“Bicycle Bill”, August 14, 2020 at 10:47 pm

You might be a cycling addict if:
— as a single person, you specifically looked for a two (or three!) bedroom mobile home or apartment so there would room to keep the bikes indoors as well.
-“BB”-

#1322901

T. Gap Woo, August 15, 2020 at 8:33 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– your apartment isn’t nearly as clean as the garage where you store your bike and other cycling equipment. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322912

Gene, August 15, 2020 at 10:57 am

I was surprised to see round hay bail on my ride because I thought they had be outlawed because the cows were not getting a square meal.

#1322915

T. Gap Woo, August 15, 2020 at 12:54 pm

I was surprised to see round hay bail on my ride because I thought they had be outlawed because the cows were not getting a square meal.

That pun was udderly fantastic! I never herd that one before! I could really milk that joke until the cows come home. I shall gladly mooooove over and make room for you on the jokefest. And that’s no bull!

A word of advice, though, to all bicyclists. Save up your energy for biking and get to bed early. Don’t stay up pasture bedtime! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322917

T. Gap Woo, August 16, 2020 at 9:29 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– your bicycle is worth ten times more than your old clunker of a car and when you load your bike onto the bike rack, the car’s value increases immensely. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322928

T. Gap Woo, August 17, 2020 at 7:13 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– it’s always way too hot to do outside chores when your spouse brings out the “Honey Do” list, but it’s perfect weather for a century ride with your buddies. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322950

T. Gap Woo, August 18, 2020 at 8:21 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you hear the numbers “40-24-36” and do not think of that stacked blonde at work that you’d like to be quarantined with. Instead, you think of the gear ratio on the new triple chain ring you just installed on your bike. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322981

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