We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

345 Replies

T. Gap Woo, August 19, 2020 at 7:37 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you live by the motto “Don’t do today what you can postpone until tomorrow!” and go cycling today instead. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1322999

“Bicycle Bill”, August 20, 2020 at 3:31 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you hear the numbers “40-24-36” and do not think of that stacked blonde at work that you’d like to be quarantined with. Instead, you think of the gear ratio on the new triple chain ring you just installed on your bike. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

Except that this would be referred to as “40-36-24” …. and a triple chainring like that would result in some pretty danged low gears.

I’d be trying to remember which one of my locks had that series of numbers as its combination….
-“BB”-

#1323021

T. Gap Woo, August 20, 2020 at 3:47 pm

Except that this would be referred to as “40-36-24” …. and a triple chainring like that would result in some pretty danged low gears.

I’d be trying to remember which one of my locks had that series of numbers as its combination….
-“BB”-
[/quote]

BB,

I originally wrote this pun using a bicycle’s security-cable-and-combination-lock-numbers as the premise of a longer joke, but I thought that I was being too PICKY! So I shifted gears to achieve the final result. 😃 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323043

T. Gap Woo, August 21, 2020 at 9:40 am

You might be a cycling addict if:

– you can’t get to work on time to save your life. In fact you’ve been fired from several jobs due to tardiness. You even lost one job because you skipped out early too many Friday afternoons to go riding.

Yet, you’re the first one to show up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning to go ride a century with your buddies!

🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323073

LawnchairMan, August 21, 2020 at 8:57 pm

The following joke does not have anything to do with cycling, but since this tread has left me in stitches, maybe it is appropriate.

A length of rope goes into a bar for a drink. As soon as the bartender sees him he yells “Hey, we don’t allow your kind in here! Get out before I throw you out!”
Now outside, the rope feels dejected and angry for being thrown out. Then he gets an idea.
He twists himself into a loop and threads himself through. He pulls tight and ruffs up his top. Then he goes back into the bar.

The bartender sees him again and says “Hey, didn’t I just tell you your kind isn’t welcome here?”
The rope responds, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”

Now THAT’s a drum roll and rimshot!

Sorry folks, I know it’s a groaner, but that one was just itching to get out. It would have had me all tied-up inside.

This reply was modified 2 months ago by LawnchairMan.

#1323093

T. Gap Woo, August 22, 2020 at 9:44 am

LCM,

That was a good one! It had me tied up in knots from laughing. When my Woo children were little, I used a rope with metal hooks on the end to catch the handle on their little red wagon and tow them behind my bike. One day, the hooks came off mid-ride. I’m still grappling with the aftermath of that disaster.

I was gonna write a joke about ropes, but since it’s off-topic, I’ll just skip it. Besides, it’s knot that funny.

Please allow me to lasso this thread and pull it back in line.

You might be a biking addict if:

– after a long, hard week at work, you’re too “pooped to whoop” with your significant other on Friday night, but are rarin’ to ride a century on Saturday morning with your bike club. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323098

“Bicycle Bill”, August 22, 2020 at 7:36 pm

You might be a biking addict if:

– after a long, hard week at work, you’re too “pooped to whoop” with your significant other on Friday night, but are rarin’ to ride a century on Saturday morning with your bike club. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

No, you know you’re a biking addict when you’re not even concerned about not having a significant other to ‘whoop it up with’ on a Friday night because that would just take away from the time you need to get the bicycle ready for that Saturday morning century anyway.
-“BB”-

#1323106

T. Gap Woo, August 23, 2020 at 8:18 am

Q: What do you call a bicyclist whose significant other broke up with him because (1) he was always too pooped when she wanted to whoop and (2) he paid more attention to his bike than he did to her and (3) he didn’t even realize that he had a significant other?

A: Homeless.

🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323107

Gene, August 23, 2020 at 8:17 pm

While riding with a friend he saw a cow standing sideways on a steep hill and asked what do you call that? Lean Beef. Later we saw a cow laying down and asked, what do you call that? Ground beef.

#1323125

T. Gap Woo, August 23, 2020 at 11:20 pm

While riding with a friend he saw a cow standing sideways on a steep hill and asked what do you call that? Lean Beef. Later we saw a cow laying down and asked, what do you call that? Ground beef.

Welcome to the jokefest, Gene! Those were some beefy puns. I’d add more, but I’ve already shoveled a pile of cow pies last week, so I’ll bale out of this one.

BTW, did you hear about the rancher’s daughter, Lucy? She had very loose morals and all the cow manure. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323127

T. Gap Woo, August 24, 2020 at 7:55 am

You might be a biking addict if:

– you prefer riding your mountain bike through the woods, because it keeps you off the streets. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323128

LawnchairMan, August 24, 2020 at 6:23 pm

One of the great things about riding the rural Ragbrai roads is seeing so many brilliant farmers. They’re outstanding in their fields!

One of my cousins was bragging about how big his family farm is. He said he could ride his bike all day and not get from one end to the other. I told him, “Yeah, I had a bike like that once!”

#1323152

LawnchairMan, August 24, 2020 at 6:44 pm

At one of the Ragbrai pass-through towns, a local farmer told me a story. He was teaching his son to drive the tractor and plow straight furrows. He told his boy to find something in the distance in the direction he wanted to plow and keep heading for it. The farmer left his son to his work and came back later to find his field furrowed with all manner of zigzags and loops. When he asked his boy what happened the son said, “I spotted something in the distance like you said Pa, but that cow kept movin’.”

#1323153

T. Gap Woo, August 24, 2020 at 10:52 pm

LCM,

Those were some pretty funny, Iowa-appropriate farming jokes. They were really corny! I have a good farming joke about plowing, but it’s NSFW. I’ll leave it to your imagination.

Obviously, neither you nor your cousin had Iowa-made equipment, since you couldn’t get from one end of the farm to the other. Perhaps you should have put antlers on your bikes. Remember, nothing runs like a Deere.

I will try to steer this thread back on trac-tor tomorrow. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1323158

“Bicycle Bill”, August 25, 2020 at 4:34 am

Hot, sweaty, and tired after finishing a metric century last weekend, I pulled up and went into an establishment that serves …. well, let’s call them ‘adult beverages’.  The guy behind the bar asked me what I’d been doing.  I told him, “Sitting on my butt for the last six hours.”
-“BB”-

This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by "Bicycle Bill".

#1323160

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