We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

350 Replies

SFC JKL 2, April 3, 2020 at 10:32 pm

There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and was always trying out new things. One day he thought he’d see just how fast a bicycle could go before it became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper of his car to test his theory. His friend said, “Sure.”

So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car and said to his friend:

“I’ll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and repeatedly if I want you to slow down.”

With that, off they went. Things were going pretty well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about the fellow on the bike and took to drag racing the Corvette.

A little further down the road sat Officer John in his police cruiser, radar gun at the ready. He heard the two cars before his radar flashed 105 mph.

He called into headquarters on his radio: “Hey, you guys aren’t going to believe this, but there’s a Corvette and a Mustang racing out here on Highway 3, and there’s a guy on a bike ringing his bell and waving his arms trying to pass them!”

#1317297

T. Gap Woo, April 4, 2020 at 10:18 am

Ol’ Joe realized that taking the bus to and from work was not conducive to “social distancing” so he gave up the bus and fixed his trusty old bike. He’s recycling. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317299

“Bicycle Bill”, April 5, 2020 at 5:07 am

What is the definition of a tricycle?

A bicycle with a spare wheel.

-“BB”-

#1317321

“Bicycle Bill”, April 5, 2020 at 5:11 am

Guy got stopped for speeding in his car, so of course the cop wrote him a ticket.  A couple of days later the guy went to the courthouse to pay the ticket, and after he got done the clerk gave him a receipt.
The driver said, “And just what am I supposed to do with this?”
The clerk said, “Save them. When you get five more, we take away your car and give you a bicycle.”
-“BB”-

#1317322

T. Gap Woo, April 5, 2020 at 9:26 am

I am in charge of public relations for a major bicycle manufacturer. I’m their spokesman. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317360

cdogfeld, April 5, 2020 at 1:21 pm

My only fear about dying is that after I’m gone, my wife will sell all my bicycles for what I told her they cost…

#1317362

“Bicycle Bill”, April 5, 2020 at 3:11 pm

Why did all the other bicycles at the shop tease the single-speed bicycle?

Because it was shiftless.
-“BB”-

#1317366

klkoopman, April 5, 2020 at 3:53 pm

During a church service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie stood and walked to the podium.
She said, “Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was crushed.”
There was a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation.
“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and they were able to reconstruct the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, using wire to reinforce and shape it.”
The men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably.
“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I’m Phil.”
The entire congregation held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife the correct word is sternum.”

#1317367

T. Gap Woo, April 5, 2020 at 7:21 pm

I hear that Princess Amanda has a bike that has no kickstand. She named it “Eileen!” 🤪 (rim shot and apologies to Princess Amanda).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317372

T. Gap Woo, April 6, 2020 at 11:42 am

Q ~ What’s the difference between a tuxedo-clad man on a bicycle and a hobo on a tricycle?

A ~ Attire! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317416

T. Gap Woo, April 7, 2020 at 7:25 am

While bicycling last week, I accidentally ran over my cat’s tail. His response? Me-OW! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317465

T. Gap Woo, April 8, 2020 at 10:44 am

Our local pastor was well-known for bicycling wherever he went. You could see him riding “up street and down alley” all hours of the day.

Imagine my surprise when I saw him walking to church the other day. I asked him why he wasn’t riding. He replied, “Someone stole my bike!”

When I inquired what he intended to do about this, he replied, “I’m heading toward my office now and will write a fire-and-brimstone sermon about the Ten Commandments to preach this Sunday.”

On Sunday morning, I saw our pastor bicycling to church! I stopped him outside the church and exclaimed that a miracle occurred.

He said, “Son, it wasn’t that. As I was writing my sermon, when I got to “Thou shalt not commit adultery”, I remembered where I parked my bike!” 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317491

Amanda, April 8, 2020 at 4:43 pm

I hear that Princess Amanda has a bike that has no kickstand. She named it “Eileen!” (rim shot and apologies to Princess Amanda).

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

Love it! Since I am on Team Black Fungus…
How much room does a fungus need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.

This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by Amanda.

#1317496

T. Gap Woo, April 8, 2020 at 9:13 pm

Love it! Since I am on Team Black Fungus…
How much room does a fungus need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.[/quote]

Princess Amanda,

If your hubby has a sense of humor like yours, he must be a Fungi! 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317502

T. Gap Woo, April 9, 2020 at 12:26 pm

Since I always get a nasty case of heartburn whenever I ride my bicycle, my doctor prescribed bikecarbonate of soda. 🤪 (rim shot)

See you along the I-O-Way whenever.

#1317573

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