We all need a good laugh!

With all of the gloomy and depressing news, statistics, and general BS floating around the Twitterverse, it’s about time we do something to lift up our spirits.

I’d like to hear your favorite biking-related jokes.

Since this isn’t a barroom and I can’t throw out the first drunk, I’ll throw out the first joke (compliments of Granddaughter Woo):

Why do some bikes have kickstands? Because they are too tired to stand up by themselves (rim shot!).

Ouch! Let’s hear your best (or worst) jokes.

See you along the I-O-Way next whenever.

323 Replies

LawnchairMan, May 4, 2020 at 4:58 pm

As Jeff was grinding up a hill he realized he was in the wrong gear; a lady’s dress, hat and heels.

from Cartoonstock

#1318854

LawnchairMan, May 4, 2020 at 5:06 pm

Pleased with his new ebike as it climbed a hill, the cyclist said, ” Damn, ebikes!”
The cyclist he passed said, “Damn ebikes!”

credit to Bikeportland.org

#1318855

LawnchairMan, May 4, 2020 at 5:20 pm

I saw a cyclist leaving a grocery with his saddlebags overfilled with potatoes, pasta and bread. I asked if he was stocking for home isolation. He replied, “No, I’m carbo-loading.”

This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by LawnchairMan.

#1318856

T. Gap Woo, May 5, 2020 at 9:12 am

I got fired from my job as a technician at my local bike shop. Whenever I inflated inner tubes, they would always pop and go flat again.

This was a blessing in disguise. I guess I couldn’t handle the pressure. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1318860

LawnchairMan, May 5, 2020 at 2:30 pm

T. Gap Woo wrote:
“I get so frustrated after I finish riding my bike. Once I dismount, there’s no metal bar to prop up my bike, so it keeps falling over. I just can’t stand it!”

Come on man, get a grip! Just don’t expect it to replace your kickstand.

#1318892

LawnchairMan, May 5, 2020 at 2:38 pm

My bike keeps falling over too, and so fast I can’t catch it. Must be the quick release skewers!

#1318894

LawnchairMan, May 5, 2020 at 2:44 pm

When my bike falls, which one is my down tube?

#1318896

LawnchairMan, May 5, 2020 at 3:04 pm

While we are on the subject, and if you missed my post last Fall, my bike did fall over in the town of Douds last Ragbrai.
I tried to lean my bike on the stop sign, and they both fell over. No apparent damage to bike, and they fixed the sign in within 15 minutes. As they say, “Every Ragbrai is unique”.

This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by LawnchairMan.

This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by LawnchairMan.

#1318898

Jboz, May 5, 2020 at 5:14 pm

Since we are talking about bikes falling over…

Why did the bicycle keep falling over?

Because it was two tired.

#1318914

T. Gap Woo, May 5, 2020 at 5:32 pm

Did you hear the awful news about George and his bike? He was flying down the hill, hell-bent-for-leather, hitting speeds near 35 mph when he spotted the “rumble strips ahead” sign on the side of the road.

“Pshaw!” thought George. “There’s no shoulder and too much oncoming traffic, so I’ll just power right through those rumbles.”

The first set of rumbles loosened the bike’s saddle.

The second set of rumbles caused the saddle to break away from the post.

The third set of rumbles really rectum! 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1318917

Jboz, May 5, 2020 at 5:44 pm

My neighbors complained that my dog was chasing their kid on his bicycle.

But that’s impossible. My dog does not even have a bicycle.

#1318919

Jboz, May 5, 2020 at 5:50 pm

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every single day. He does this no matter what – regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.

One day, however, the conditions are especially horrible. There is heavy hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice patches. Finally, after an hour, he turns around and heads back home.

He dries himself off, crawls back into bed and lies down next to his wife, who is asleep and whispers: “The weather is terrible outside.”

Still half asleep his wife replies: “And to think, that my idiot husband is outside riding his bicycle.”

#1318920

T. Gap Woo, May 6, 2020 at 9:07 am

Sammy just finished a century ride last week, when he felt a mild discomfort in his chest. Fearing the worst, his wife drove Sammy to the hospital emergency room.

Dr Welby, the cardiologist on duty, ordered a battery of tests: blood gases and enzymes; oxygen level; EKG; stress; CT scan; etc etc etc. When the results came back, Dr Welby delivered the bad news.

“Sammy, you have a leaky valve. But, this is a treatable condition. There are some options for us to consider,” advised the doc.

“Ok. What are my options?” Sammy asked.

Welby said, “The first option is to replace your bad valve with a valve taken from a pig.”

Sammy rejected this immediately. “It ain’t kosher! What’s the second option?”

Welby outlined the second option. “We can transplant a valve taken from a human donor who had passed away.”

Sammy rejected this option also. “It’s against my religious beliefs to take advantage of another person’s suffering for my own benefit. What’s my third option?”

Dr Welby said, “We could remove your bad valve and implant a mechanical valve in its place.”

Sammy jumped at this option, saying, “That’s for me! Just make sure it’s either a Presta or Shrader valve!” 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1318954

LawnchairMan, May 6, 2020 at 9:42 am

Johnny crashed his bike. The worst of it was that his jersey and shorts were torn in several places. Not having the money to buy new, Johnny sewed his jersey together using pieces of other material. He did his shorts is a similar manner. Now he rides with a patch kit.

#1318960

T. Gap Woo, May 6, 2020 at 5:59 pm

My neighbor is quite an artist. He welds beautiful statues out of old bicycle parts. He even painted the most gorgeous mural I’ve ever seen on the ceiling of his church. He’s a genuine Cycle-angelo. 🤪 (rim shot).

See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.

#1318989

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