T. Gap Woo
- Active 4 hours, 7 minutes ago
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 4 hours, 7 minutes ago
Princess Amanda, I’m so glad that my warped sense of humor brings pleasure to your royal dominion. Please be advised that, for the next week or so, I shall be “off the air” as I bike the hinterlands of the Carolinas where internet service is spotty at best. However, as General Douglas MacArthur said, “I shall return.”
Here’s one more for th…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 19 hours, 53 minutes ago
Q- How do you convince an avid bicyclist to return home after a nice day of riding?
A- Promise them a slab of their favorite pie, a huge dollop of ice cream and a beer chaser.
That’s called “using reverse cycle-ology!” 🤪 (rim shot)
See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 day, 8 hours ago
We’ve all heard that saying about Ragbrai, “It’s a ride, not a race!”
“Stop and smell the roses!” is another reminder.
They even say, “Enjoy the wonderful things that small-town Iowa has to offer.”
Tourist departments tout, “Experience Iowa-nice!”
I was convinced! Consequently, I was just poking along the route, in no great rush to get t…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 day, 20 hours ago
Granddaughter Woo, who just turned 6, shocked me recently. She told me, “I have a dirty joke to tell you!”
Fearing the worst, but figuring she’s just a child and the joke couldn’t be obscene, I asked her to tell it. Here it is:
“My friend Jake went for a bike ride right after a rainstorm. He skidded and fell into a mud puddle!” she related.…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 2 days, 7 hours ago
In my spare time, I’m an inventor who likes to tinker with things in order to make them better (and hopefully make a few bucks in the process).
I devised a new bar grip, but my unicycle couldn’t handle it.
I created a new tread pattern for my mountain bike’s tires, but that idea didn’t gain any traction. I’m not having a good year so far!
I r…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 2 days, 19 hours ago
There’s been a crime wave in my hometown recently. Someone has been stealing the wheels from cars and trucks parked in our downtown. It’s gotten worse. Now they are stealing the wheels off of bicycles!
This is no joke, folks. I’m not yanking your chain! The police are hunting for the thief, tirelessly. 🤪 (rim shot)
See you along the I-O-W…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 3 days, 10 hours ago
Mrs Woo is trying, without much success, to lower my love for cycling and raise my level of cultural awareness. She drags me to art exhibits, ballet performances, orchestra concerts, Broadway plays, etc etc etc. I can’t tolerate this high-brow stuff! I’d rather go biking.
I recently drew the line when she wanted to drag me to a performance of…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 3 days, 19 hours ago
When I biked the GAP and C&O Trails last year, I was amazed by the number and length of the tunnels along the way. The Big Savage and Paw Paw tunnels are over 3,000 feet long and as dark as midnight.
I rode maybe 100 feet into the Big Savage and was immediately engulfed in pitch black darkness. Once my eyes adjusted to the dark, I noticed a…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 4 days, 7 hours ago
😂. That was a good one! It brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know how I can liver with myself after such a good onion joke. You are really shakin’ and bacon now.
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 4 days, 10 hours ago
Great additions, LawnchairMan! 👍. I had a few more, but they’re either NSFW or totally inappropriate given the COVID-19 situation. Instead, here’s a “safe” joke:
One of the pleasures of biking is enjoying the fresh air and clean environment. It really galls me when people litter the great outdoors by dumping trash onto the roadway.
Last month,…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 4 days, 18 hours ago
You might be a biking addict if:
– your closet has more bicycle jerseys than dress shirts
🤪 (rim shot)
– the majority of your dirty laundry basket is biking clothes
🤪 (rim shot)
– your wife parks her car in the driveway, because the garage is full of bicycles and gear
🤪 (rim shot)
– when you shop for a new SUV, you take along the bike…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 5 days, 11 hours ago
My neighbor’s son must really love bicycling. Every night, he won’t go to bed without having his bike in bed with him.
I mentioned to him, “It must be uncomfortable and keep you from getting a good night’s sleep.”
He responded, “I still get a good night’s sleep with my bike in bed with me. Besides, I was getting tired of all that sleepwalking!…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 5 days, 18 hours ago
Do you remember Woodsy Owl, the US Forest Service’s anti-pollution spokesowl? “Give a hoot, don’t pollute!” I do, because I’m older than dirt (don’t ask and I won’t lie)!
I was biking through the backroads in the Allegheny National Forest on my way to the GAP Trail. When I got to a fork in the road, I took it.
A bit further down the road, a P…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 6 days, 8 hours ago
Perhaps you are thinking of a <strong>velocipede?
BTW the velocipede is closely related to that Jurassic Park critter, the velociraptor (but that’s a joke from another era).
🤪 (rim shot).
See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 6 days, 9 hours ago
My pal, Pablo, is an artist who fancies himself as the second coming of Picasso. We were bicycling along the east coast of Florida recently, riding a route that zigzagged across the Intracoastal Waterway.
Our planned route for the day should have taken maybe 5 or 6 hours, but it took 10 hours before we reached our destination. Every time we…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 6 days, 18 hours ago
Last year, I rode Ragbrai 47 all week under the broiling Iowa sun, from Council Bluffs to Keokuk. It was hotter than the hinges on the gates of Hades. When the ride ended, I was looking forward to heading home and relaxing under the shady trees in my front yard, with a cold beer or three in my sweaty little hands.
Imagine my shock when I arrived…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic Quad cities bike trail blockade: Sign the petition! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 week ago
Is Riverdale being run by a bunch of jugheads? (Oops! Sorry, wrong thread.)
But seriously, LOCAL petition signers would carry a great deal of weight with LOCAL officials, but I fear that a bunch of out-of-towners/staters would carry little pursuasive weight. We’d be viewed as carpet-baggers, meddlers or worse.
I would respectfully suggest g…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 week ago
Every time Mrs Woo rode her bicycle out of the barn on our farm, she’d lose her balance and fall over. This happened on multiple occasions and under all conditions. She got so frustrated that she finally gave up riding — — a bicycle, that is. She took up horseback riding instead. It was more stable. 🤪 (rim shot)
See you along the I-O-Way in 2021.
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 week ago
Sandaltan,
Here is the headline from the Cedar Rapids Gazette article by correspondent Katie Mills Giorgio you cited in your thread about the bicycle business:
<strong>“Corridor bike shops work to manage customer demand and industry backlog after unusually high demand
'Everybody is itching to get and out ride'”
My local newspaper, The Dai…[Read more]
T. Gap Woo replied to the topic We all need a good laugh! in the forum RAGBRAI XLVIII – 2020 1 week ago
Grandson Woo outgrew his little tricycle and is learning to ride a “big boy’s” bike, with training wheels. Progress has been haltingly slow, as he rides in fits and starts.
He’ll ride a few feet in a straight line and stop. Then he’ll ride a few more feet in a straight line and stop again. He’s ridden like this for the past few days. Start, ride…[Read more]